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The Dreams of Gaia Tarot- 5 of Water, represents feelings of fear, doubt, disappointment and hopelessness, that can cloud our minds and hearts, obfuscating our world view and bringing on anger and loss of understanding. These types of emotions are directed by insecurities (fear of rejection-fear of loss etc.) which cloud our ability to love or to see the love that surrounds us. To emote, is to act out, and it is just that-an act. To put energy into motion is to apply energy to an idea. Ideas, are not empirical fact, so when ideas are based on fear, which is "passion" and/or energy expressed from the survival mode of a physical self-conscious (little ego) it will place one on a fear based footing in their environment. Fear, clouds the mind. Expectations, applied to others, breeds disappointment. It is not our job to live a life for other people, but that is what we are implying by expecting them to act according to our "comfort zones", which we call personal security. Indoctrination places the whole world of "others" on your shoulders, by making the individual think they are responsible for how others think or feel. Not so! Each is an island unto themselves. Each of us, are our very own definition of what we Think Self Is! I AM Me- 'I' being the Will, 'Am' being Mind, and 'Me' being the Self-Awareness and/or Self-consciousness. In Qabalah we know the Will to be Spirit, the Universal Collective Unconscious, as the Mind, and the Me as the individual expression of a Self-Awareness. Hence, each of us is complete, before we were divided and conquered by the social brain washing (pleasure/pain training) of the Patriarchy. You are not responsible for how others feel, as each of us, is responsible for our own thoughts and feelings. By doing unto others as you would have done to you, is smart self-responsibility, for to think ill is to be ill and besides, self-respect demands that we do so. It in no way does such action mean that you are responsible for what others do, nor feel: no matter how much they try to make you responsible for THEIR ill feelings....you ain't. The trouble being, that they tried to control your life with their expectations. The operative term here is "their". Most often these expectations are one's they could never do on their own, but expect you to do... in psychology this is called "transference".

Above all Things; Know Thyself, still applies to a successful, loving, happy life.

Loss of any kind is seen as some kind of failure, rejection or self deficiency. Life is an "active measurement of Self", and measurements require a beginning and an end. All that we do, ends. Love ends; life ends;success ends;failure ends; relationships end. These "endings" are called transformation as there is only one energy that cannot be created nor destroyed only transformed and I dare say, transmitted. What we call "emotions" is transmitted energy. What are you transmitting to your environment? "A Woe is me" transmission that forms into outward situations of "woe" and/or poverty, or a "I love me", which forms into outward loving situations and/or prosperity? Self Wealth is not made by the Patriarch's money but by the Creatrix of Form-Imagination. Fear based imagination produces a life of doubt, hopelessness, confusion and anger. To stop this negative possession of my mind because I lost someone or thing, I just mentally repeat, " I Am the Will, I Am the Way, I Am the Wealth and I own the Day!" For no thing or person makes me, I am already made. Truth is made manifest. We all feel loss, as we are all a "sensual self" now. Thinking you are alone and isolated is but an illusion for you have much company on this earth, all persons have experienced lost. Grief, is the heavy sense of a loss of a loved one, and must run its course, but that course is not lashing out at others, nor self debasement, it is an acceptance that all must end and we must let it end, and move on, as loss doesn't lessen us in anyway nor does it makes us a "victim". Loss happens to the just and unjust alike.

When the 5 of Water is thrown in a divination it implies:

• Its okay to feel grief, let it complete itself.
• Feeling alone and isolated.
• Without hope.
• Consumed by fear and doubt.
• Unable to see forward. 
• Trapped in the moment. 
• Feeling angry and betrayed.
• Mourn your loss.
• Playing the victim.

There is trouble here as astrologically this Thoth-5 of Cups card is attributed to Mars in Scorpio; Mars is the planet associated with vitality, assertiveness, war and dynamic activity. Scorpio is the sign of occult depth; thus disappointment is felt deeply "to the core" here. Therefore, this is not a trivial disappointment such as not getting the right color of car, but a real stinging disappointment that in the next 5 weeks or 5 months has been or will be experienced. There could also be 5 years of disappointment or disappointment that goes back to a period 5 years ago or even disappointment that has been experienced deeply when you were 5 years old and is still influencing your present emotional state. All of these meanings are determined by where the card lays in the reading. It's now time to transform your emotion into a free butterfly rather than a "worm" in a hard shell of disappointment. Stuff happens to the just and unjust alike and by releasing disappointment, we can then turn anger into a personal ambition to create more motion in our life and move on! This card states, “Release the past, for that is a dead place, fly forward into the sunny now!"

As I have previously stated, Geburah, the 5th Sephiroth on the Tree of Life rules the four 5's. Geburah may be severe but she brings a necessary corrective in our lives. Severity corrects by revealing and tearing away all that is useless thought, and emotion; all that is outdated and unproductive.

In this educated world most of us understand physics 101 and the first law of thermodynamics that states there is only one energy that we can't create, nor can we destroy it. We can however, transfer it and transform it. Transformation is a process of deconstructing and then reconstructing that which is envisioned, thus what seems to end is merely a universal law of change. That One Energy is metaphysically known as Spirit.

Transmitting can be done sexually (Mars and Scorpio) or in some form of intimacy and/or communication, where we are in communion with someone or something. Such as the intimacy of healers or Tantrics or shamanistic rites if human, or the universal sexuality of electrons transferring charge. The flow of this vital force is often called love, as such we could say that the intimacy of the negative pole as it joins with a positive pole of a magnet proves love. But being Spiritual and sensual beings, we know Love is more than an impersonal energy flow, it is a communion of multiple attributes that are even more apparent when a physical trinity of Spirit-Mind- Body is present, such as, a True Hu-Man. (Hu is a Mandarin word for "god", and Man comes from the Hindu word Manas for Mind. Hence, the word Human means "god mind".)In Thoth Tarot the "god mind" is called Horus, who represents the Mind of the True Human. Adam Khadmon, who encases the entire Tree of Life, is the Qabalistic name of the "True Human".

To the enfleshed Spirit, Intimacy is not just physical touching, tasting, smelling, hearing or seeing, even though those are usually involved; Intimacy is where one Auric Field blends with another; one or multiples of female force to a male force. Energy weaving into a new pattern for both parties. A multiplication of 7 dimensions of ultra-light weaving with another 7 dimensions of ultra-light, becoming 49. These 49 are really a numeric or gemantic 4+ 9= 13 and Key 13 is the Death Card, which means a "Spiritual Transformation". You are after all, a Light Being (Spirit), who operates a material body. The Auric Field, which enters the body through Breath and Chakras, is all around you, yet it is the "Inner-Self". for it gives life to the body by flowing through it, just as an Ocean gives life to a fish, by "flowing through" its gills. You can then be called an Light form of 7 light bodies, who cooperated to operate a physical form-your 8th body! Again, multidimensional! These 7 light bodies are many named, but the Tantric naming, translated into English, is the way I name them. Names are man made and never created anything so they are only a weak communicative attempt at collective thinking. However, although we like to name these Light Bodies as "separate names", the truth is They are the Whole YOU and like layers of an onion, they only look separate even though these layers are the whole onion. The most common names use to identify this layering of Light are:

1.  Spirit-Superconscious-The Universal Collective Unconscious Mind (Higher mental body)
2. Causal Body, 
3. Conscious Mind-Mental Body,  
4. The "Will to Force", called the Emotional Body, 
5.  The "Will to Form" called the Astral body, 
6. The Pranic Body-(life force).
7. The Etheric body matrix, that holds your electrons in place. 
8. The physical body, the sensual body.  

However wonderful form is, it also has an end or transformation. That would be the second law of Thermodynamics where"...all things proceed from order to disorder", so a Master Weaver of Self, would see the disorder in Self patterns through interaction with the Sensual body and deconstruct them and reconstruct a new order of Self which is an emotional reconstruction of Self-awareness. Here's where Geburah steps in to assist us, she makes us view the disorder, and as a corrective, we can now remove the old and build the new. As a master of self, we must know emotion (energy-in-motion) as a willed action rather than the illusion of a spontaneous reaction. We are more magic and less tragic than we think. Our real tragedy, is that our thought is not "ours", it has been indoctrinated and become dogma, so instead of thought being "ours", it is the invisible "theirs" and/or the few who rule the many by controlling the imagination of the many through the rulership of controlled definition.

As previously stated, the 5 of cups is also known as Lord of loss in pleasure, for even pleasure has an end. Here the planet Mars is in Scorpio. The angels of the Decan are: Livoyah and Pehilyah. As the 5 of cups, Geburah is influencing the Mental World, Geburah in Briah.

By now you may know that the Alchemical Element-Water represents the unconsciousness, intuition, and emotions stored in the Unconscious. Hence, a severe situation is sensually presented in the 5 of Cups. Mars is violent energy and in the water sign Scorpio, this produces an extremely emotional effect.The once full cups are empty, implying loss of that which is loved. Geburah is fiery of nature, and placid water is totally at odds with this active force, thus causing a disturbance and loss of pleasure. This card, if supported by the accompanying cards, can even mean death of a loved one. The inverted pentagram represents the triumph of matter/sensuality over spirit/will and where disturbance arises in the middle of ease.

When the 5 of cups is thrown during a reading:

• The querent has been or will be experiencing emotional disappointment for 5 weeks or 5 months.
• Usually implications of relying too much on others for love, rather than loving themselves.
• Here, there is a certain crying over past events, an experience of grieving over what has been lost or unlearned.
• Emotional discord as one begins to adapt.
• This is a card of regret, loss and separation. The corrective of Geburah is being applied here, and it is the beginning of recovery where one sees the need to learn something new.
• When this card is thrown you may want to release past patterns of disappointment either with the Scorpio people in your life and/or in the next 5 weeks or 5 months be no longer willing to hold onto past disappointments and will make a conscious decision to let them go.

When ill defined, by the surrounding cards:

• Bitterness.
• Desolation.
• Remaining in crisis. 

Thank you for your interest, comments and supportive donations. May you live long and prosper.